I’ve been married for 34 years and there is nothing that I find more private than personal issues about my matrimony. For the most part, you may see a post of my husband’s birthday photos, our anniversary or a photo taken during some special event; and maybe once in a while a humorous conversation that we shared; but anything more than that is off limits to social media. What happens in the Jackson household…stays in the Jackson household.
I have friends that I have had for years who are not privy to the private side of my relationship. Let’s just say, “Gossip is real” and friends come and go; often times taking confidential conversations with them.
Next to being a parent, marriage or your committed relationship, may be the most sacred and demanding responsibility you will ever have.
Many of us have witnessed some women excitedly sharing a new love on social media, only for them to have to announce the downfall of that same relationship to a bunch of followers who either saw it coming, don’t really care or can connect in some way. The writers usually confesses how wounded, misguided and hurt these relationships have left them. Social media is no place to get virtual counseling.
Okay, so now what? You let the world know that this same guy who was the best thing since sliced bread left you feeling like burnt toast.
I have seen these relationships play out on Facebook, only to have my inner voice hollering at the screen, “Stop it…don’t do it!”
Of course, social media is an outlet to voice your opinions, discuss your issues and announce important events in your life. But there are some things that we have no control over; what we share with others happen to not be one of them.
Your Facebook followers should not be confused with your friends. Here are some reasons for you to think before you post:
- You Haven’t Given Yourself Time to Really Build the Relationship
New love is usually the best kind. While some of us may wait months to introduce our new man to mom, the family and friends, others are quick to throw him on Facebook to confess their love for a man they barely know. I cringe when I read about women who just met a man and quickly announce that he is their one and only; only to later witness the rage of the angry black woman as she shares that he was somebody else’s “one and only” too.
A woman scorned need not seek input from strangers. Ladies, you deserve better, so act as if you do.
- You Are Setting Yourself Up for Judgement
Sure, you may get a lot of likes when you announce your new man, but you also may get some jealousy and envy. You also may seem desperate when you come across as validating yourself based on your relationship status.
Strangers and friends alike, may be sitting behind the privacy of their screen making judgement on a woman who seems overly excited about a man she hardly knows, or a rekindled romance and hoping that her followers will embrace her new-found love.
I know a woman who consistently posted about her online dating debacles. Every time I would run into her, my first thought was about the desperate post that used to make me squirm. She had branded herself as a lonely woman on the prow.
- Post last forever
They say that love last forever. Even though the fling may be over, your hype about the once solid love story may live on eternally on the worldwide web. What happens if your enthusiasm turns out to be just a phase? Think about the times that you told your friends intimate details, only to later regret it.
Don’t get me wrong, some relationships may work out just fine, but why risk putting your beau on the world stage until you know it’s solid? Think before you hit that submit button. You would know more bring strangers into your home, so why bring them in your relationship?
My motto for my marriage has always been that there are only 2 people in our marriage. Create your boundaries.