It seems like only yesterday when I remember my mother taking me to the YMCA as a child along with my cousin, Mickeeno to attend their pre-school; or off to kindergarten at Bethany Church on Bedford Avenue in the Hill District of Pittsburgh. My reflections also took me down memory lane to many days on Wylie Avenue when I used to run up and down the street when it was safe in the inner-city. That area was considered to be a poor community, yet it was rich with so many memories and culture that would become the happiest times of my life.
And now, here I am, an award-winning entrepreneur of almost 30 years, and soon to be an author, with a good husband and a son that I adore, living in a neighborhood that I used to only dream about as I rode through on the bus as a teenager.
I remember being so eager to get “old enough”. Old enough to go trick or treating by myself. Old enough to go to church on Easter without being accompanied by my mother. And old enough to go to parties as I waited to turn sweet 16.
None of those things I waited for ended up being worth my time. I got too old to go trick or treating. I seldom went to church as a teenager and I eventually didn’t go to one party as a teen. Time can be wasted waiting on something that may never have been meant to happen.
I realize that I have far more years behind me than I do in front of me and, like many women my age, I am both wondering how I got here so quickly and worried about where my life is headed. It is hard to admit our concerns about aging. Most will act as if they celebrate aging, when in fact aging can be a reminder of our mortality, the change in our appearance and the unknown possible health issues to come.
The thought of aging brings about an opportunity to reflect on how far I have come and my journey to getting here. At my age, it is far more important that I look forward opposed to dwelling on the woulda, coulda and shoulda’s of life. I have no control over the past, so it is planning for the future that will have the greatest impact on my life.
Worrying has not gotten anyone out of challenging situations. The question of, “What do I do now?” seems to be an ongoing question that many seek to figure out on this journey to becoming a senior citizen.
For a while, I was consumed with past issues; I constantly thought about what I didn’t do or wish I would have done. I looked back on the people who came into my life, and those who left. Whether they were people who died, left my life because they moved away, or the people who I or they dissolved the relationship, I realized that everything, everybody and every experience was simply, “A Stage”.
Life evolves in stages, so it was beneficial to understand that all experiences, good or bad, was a part of me evolving into the person I am today…good, bad or indifferent.
So where am I now?
I am going to do what I should have done all my life in response to the question that Steve Jobs asked, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”
Granted, every day will not be solely focused on my spiritual growth and intention, but I am going to attempt to spend my future doing the things that make me happy. I have already made self-care a priority, and joyful activities fall a close second. I will rest more, attend events not because I have to go, but because I want to go.
Just being me is my new life’s mission! What a great way to spend my last years in my 50’s. What about you? Leave a comment if you are a woman in transition.
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